Random thoughts in a random world.

Unbeknowst to some, I actually do think. I have many strange insights floating around in my head that I never actually quite flesh out. But now, as a treat to my insane train of thought, I will be acknowledging all the little messy details of thought that go on in my mind. This is the span of 2 hours in the morning during classes...

"Perhaps when I get old and near death I should clone myself. Therefore, I will not die but will be reborn. I can ensure that I will live forever on this planet as I choose as long as I wish for my clone will no doubt feel the same. I would leave behind a diary of thoughts, ideas, and everything in my life that I have ever learned so that I may pick up where I left off and continue to know everything I can possibly know. I am the past, present, and future. I will forever walk this world. She is me and I am her. Forever. Immortality yours."

"Am I an agent of evil?"

"Starvation. If people are starving that tells me one thing. There are not enough resources to support a population of that high of a density. So what do we do? We carelessly feed and support them in the acts of "Good" thereby dewindling our own resources in the process. Than what happens? The people who have no resources and were straving in the first place continue to breed and multiple causing what remains of their resources to all but dry up. So what do we do? We continue to feed, and pamper, and breed them. Oh no. We are running out of resources. Our people are straving as well as the rest of the world runs to our aid as we live, and breed, and make more mouths to feed of the little we currently have. Until the world eventually collapses of over population, we see it as "good" to save the lives of a few where we single-handedly took full responsibility of the demise of our world. Horrible to say, but we have to let those people starve. Or everyone will. If they don't have the resources, that means those people shouldn't be alive, and by keeping them alive we are only setting up more people to die in the long run. We are only hindering ourselves and them. Not helping."

"If everyone gets to live, what makes life so beautiful?"

"I find beauty in despair. As compared to the cheeky smile of a well dimpled face do you get the same reaction of a hopeless tear streaming down a defeated demeanor. I see passion in loss. A regret and recognition of what was once there, value."

"I could die at any given moment, which makes this second all the more worthwhile than the one before."

"I want a little evil in this world. It makes my strength and choices all the more powerful in opposition."

"We can't police the world or even hope to stop all the bad. It needs to come apart on it's own. If the world falls it falls. It is what it is destined to do."

"I want to be here when the world ends. I don't want to miss the show."

"Would I help it along? What is my purpose in the cosmic chess game? Do I take the queen or am I being checked?"


I've never actually written any of my random musings down before. I kinda enjoyed that. I should do it more often.