Oh New Years...

Everyone has a New Years Resolution...I've never actually had one that I ever considered for more than 2 days and thought I would follow through on it. Well this year is going to be different!
Unfortunately...all I have right now is the normal cliche' resolution that everyone has...

I resolve to lose 30 pounds. If I'm feeling really awesome, 35 would be cool but I'm not losing any more than that because I want to actually have a body instead of bone. =) To do this, I must do the following:
-Cold turkey chocolate and/or other desserts.
-Go through Rehab. Admit that I am a Chocoholic and thereby embarking on the first steps to recovery.
-Exercise 30-60 minutes a day. There is a treadmill downstairs. USE IT.
-I know when I overeat, and I know when I'm taking to much of a certain yummy food. I just need to control myself and make sure I don't have the dreadful eyes bigger than my fat flabby ass syndrom.

I dunno, I'm a girl. All of my self-esteem and confidence rely heavily on my body image. I wish it weren't so but it is. Sometimes I don't care how I look or how fat I feel I am-but than in relation I don't care about anything at all. Probably doesn't make it any better that I can't help but idolize really beautiful women who are -ohmigosh kno wey!!- not fat but muscular. I don't do diets, because I like to eat, so the only real thing is to watch my junk food (Chocolate) and Get Off My Cellujello Arse! At least I'm vain enough to admit that I love my face in general and usually think I'm gorgeous...until I notice my second and third chin. And really, when you see my first chin, WHO THE HELL WANTS ANOTHER?! If I get my body looking the way I want it (Fit and Healthy) than I know I'll be happy with who I am.

Other than that resolution, I have a few more ideas but I don't want to pile them all on to thick incase I get overwelmed and cave (Relapse all over the place on chocolate) and can't keep up with my resolutions anymore. Here they are:
-Connecting with old friends
-Keep in better touch with current friends
-Go all Hermione Granger on college. Please please please, this one really does need to happen and I know I can do it! I just have to get in that world and love it.
-Work on making myself awesome enough to get accepted to Hamline (Which includes visits to conselors and finanical aids)
-Picking a Major.
(Here's the possible list of Majors I would love)
--English (Creative Writing)
--Anthropology
--History
--Drama
?? I seriously thought there was more than that. Oh wellz.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY WHO READS THIS! (TRUNG)

SANTA

Every year, I witness Santa, but I never know how to describe, until THIS YEAR. I had a real vivid encounter with him this time. I tried explaining him to Derek, my neighbor. Here's how it went down:

***

2:11amDerek

so how was Christmas?

 

2:11amTrung

it was very nice

 

2:12amDerek

DID SANTA COME!?

 

2:12amTrung

Christmas spirit kicked in at the last second and made Christmas Eve all nice and cute

YESSSSSS

I saw him.

 

2:12amDerek

...was he at a mall?

 

2:12amTrung

nope

He was on my roof

 

2:14amDerek

on Christmas eve?

 

2:14amTrung

yes

 

2:14amDerek

you can't just say Santa was on your roof and NOT give details wtf

 

2:14amTrung

Well, he kind of waddled around on my roof

Man, the stories do NOT do him justice

dude was HUUUUUUGE

He looked like a mass of fuzzy red jello with the whipped cream on top

just jigglying back and forth

I think he's a smoker, too

He had this sort raspy smoker's laugh

 

2:15amDerek

I think most people who deal with kids regularly are smokers

 

2:15amTrung

but he only deals with them once a year

and he never actually has to see them

 

2:15amDerek

yeah that thought actually just came to mind

Well maybe he gets bored then

 

2:16amTrung

do you think he's got a lump of soot in his lung?

maybe that's it

secondhand chimney smoke

 

2:16amDerek

Maybe that's where he keeps the soot for naughty children?

not only is it soot, but its regurgitated, too.

 

2:16amTrung

You think he hacks it up and stuffs them into the stocking?

 

2:16amDerek

Exactly.

 

2:16amTrung

Cool...

ANYWAY

 

2:17amDerek

Definitely solved a Christmas mystery

 

2:17amTrung

the reindeer

so NOT tiny

tiny only relative to him

 

2:17amDerek

wait, are the reindeers supposed to be tiny?

 

2:17amTrung

but, then again, Shaq woulda looked like a little mousey

yep

It says so in that Twas the Night Before Christmas book

 

2:18amDerek

WHAT!?

 

2:18amTrung

it was either there or somewhere

i'm pretty sure it was there

ANYWAY

He was carrying a gun

 

2:18amDerek

Santa or the reindeer?

...

 

2:19amTrung

Santa

 

2:19amDerek

I mean, the reindeer IS magic

 

2:19amTrung

They are

 

2:19amDerek

You gotta check these things

when you're dealing with magic

and pronouns

 

2:19amTrung

But I think they don't actually fly

 

2:20amTrung

Should I continue my account?

 

2:20amDerek

Um

yes

 

2:20amTrung

Well, there he was, red and gelatinous as ever next to his bathtub

 

2:21amDerek

is this more Christmas lore that I'm ignorant of?

 

2:21amTrung

no, no

it wasn't a sleigh

i guess they figured it was a sleigh because sleighs make SENSE, right?

so everybody says it's a sleigh

 

2:22amDerek

exactly. and it makes sledding seem so much more fantastical

 

2:22amTrung

I'm convinced that it's a bathtub.

 

2:22amDerek

so the non-flying reindeer trudge through the snow... dragging a bathtub behind them?

 

2:23amTrung

no, no

they each pilot a sink

it's super cute

they hang onto their little faucets and steer

 

2:24amDerek

so, are all the pipes connected?

to eachother and the bathtub?

 

2:24amTrung

nope

i didn't see any pipes

but there were garlands

and rudolph is actually a headlight that was hanging between the two leads

 

2:25amDerek

that makes sense

 

2:25amTrung

it does, oddly enough

but when they flew off... I heard sputtering

like, from an engine

or maybe that was Santa

 

2:26amDerek

you know, I really like the image of Santa as an engineer

 

2:26amTrung

Me too!

Maybe he was

which would explain the coal and soot in his lungs

***

Brain Barf: DEFINED

For all of you wonderful, beautiful people who have no idea what I was talking about, please refer to this for all your brain-barfing needs!

***

Richie
brain barfing sounds terrible

11:44pmTrung
it's magical

11:44pmRichie
walk me thought it

11:45pmTrung
it starts with cranial hemorrhaging

11:45pmRichie
Thats the Magical part?

11:46pmTrung
no, no
and then the nabisco fairy of infinite gayness comes and beats you repeatedly over the head to get all the blood out nice and clean
maybe it's a different fairy for straight people, but for the gays, it's the nabisco fairy

11:47pmRichie
=o

11:47pmTrung
THEN
the nabisco fairy feeds you CRACKERS

11:48pmRichie
well thats not so bad

11:49pmTrung
well, no
THEN
the magic happens
your brain takes on the visage of a neurotic, weight-obsessed teenage girl

11:50pmRichie
o dear god

11:50pmTrung
And then it becomes bulimic and barfs up all the crackers in the form of sparkly rainbows
Today

11:50pmRichie
...*shock*

11:50pmTrung
AND THEN
Your brain will obsess about the barfing and go into catatonic shock

11:52pmRichie
and your going through that!!!

11:52pmTrung
it's not over!
Afterward, your brain's family and friends come over and decide whether to euthanize your brain since it's in a coma

they all talk about the pros and the cons
AND THEN

they decide to pull the plug
GASPS!

11:54pmRichie
ah

11:54pmTrung
But THEN
your bulimic brain wakes up and rainbow-barfs all over its loved ones!
and that's when the magic happens
You see, the barf

11:55pmRichie
o god i miss you

11:55pmTrung
i bet you do
but the barf...
the barf turns into a RAGING POOL OF LAVA!!!
and incinerates everything, and the brain barf is over

11:57pmRichie
im just in total shock here

11:58pmTrung
one sec
i'm turning this into a note
NYAHAHAHA

***

The brain barf

I was so worried earlier today. 

I was planning on blogging, today, and in the end I suppose I did. However, the original post was never meant to be anything like this. In fact, I had this whole elaborate plan of action ready for a potential post. When I sat down, however, nothing substantial came, and I lost all interest and zeal in whatever it was I was supposing to write about. Being in that creative mood and totally unable to release the artistic tension, I decided to write about that.

Writers and artists oftentimes come across a barren spell of time called a "block." It's this utterly useless feeling wherein one feels a thirst for a creative outlet, yet there is no wellspring of inspiration to be found required to continue the process. 

So as I was sitting around, seething in my frustration and lack of inspiration, I couldn't help but take note of the movie I was supposed to have been watching...

Good Vs. Evil

The idea was brought up in my Philosophy class a few weeks ago. My professor insisted that you could have a world where everybody could be inherently good. It would be a perfect world in which no evil would exsist at all. He also put this burden on a just and ethically good God and argued that because this world has evil in it, and God would have the power to remove it, he is an evil God.
I have a major problem with this. Not because it is stating the possibility that God is evil, but because it is ignoring something that is essential to our way of life: Evil. Good cannot exsist without Evil. If you had that world with only "Good" it would be perfect, but it would not be good as there would be no way to distinguish your actions. It would simply just be.
Alright, here's some definitions from dictionary.com associated with Good.

Morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious. (I believe this is essentially what good is all about, though I believe it should be noted that it is a CONCIOUS CHOICE to be the following, which is a big part of being "Good")
Satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree (Okay, so my book with the bent spine is not good, therefore by being the opposite it is bad and to a larger extreme evil?)
Well-behaved: a good child. (So, am I an evil person if as a child I may have been prone to terrorizing my brother and was disciplined as a result therefore learning right from wrong?)
Kind, beneficent, or friendly (There are many people I have meet that are none of these. Does that make them an evil person?)
Honorable or worthy (In whose eyes? This is a matter of opinion; It's hard to judge someone's worth and far to pretentious to have it be used as a quality of Good. Was Hirohito of Japan during the second World War not worthy? And yet spitefully evil in the treatment of the Chinese and the authorization of the bacteriological research unit? Honor and Worth depend on your personal point of view, nothing more.)
Educated and refined (So if someone doesn't get a college education....are they evil?)
Financially sound or safe (Poor people and minorities must be evil than. Damn those filthy hobos, I knew they were Satan's pawns!)
Genuine; not counterfeit (So disregarding the fact that when you are young and impressionable you're still trying to figure out who you really are and may conform with ideals and behaviors that aren't really you, you are essentially evil?)
Reliable; dependable; responsible (Fair enough, but I never thought of irresponsibility as evil. All of the shamed Germans who are being held responsible even today for the monstrosities caused by the Nazis and their pretense of doing nothing whatsoever about it does not scream villianry. Oh, I dunno, perhaps they were simply afraid? Does fear constitute evil?)
Healthful; beneficial (All those kids who are terminally ill must than be evil.)
Not spoiled or tainted (I wouldn't necessarily call all those spoiled brats who whine and cry for a candy bar evil. They just haven't been taught any better.)
Cheerful; optimistic; amiable (Don't be sad or you're evil guys.)
Attractive; handsome (This is just ridiculous. I'm not even going to bother with it)
Conforming to rules of grammar, usage, etc. (Hahaha, I actually love this one. EVIDENCE THAT TWILIGHT REALLY IS EBIL!)
Best or most dressy (Dumb.)

Okay, now that we have navigated past the wall of text...
The point of showing all of those definitions was to prove that Good is merely the other side of the spectrum. Every single definition above has an opposite. What does this mean? IT MEANS THAT IT CANNOT EXSIST WITHOUT THE OTHER SIDE. None of these things could be unless there was an example of what it isn't. Reliable-unreliable; Healthy-unhealthy;Cheerful-uncheerful; etc. So that perfect world where there is only good is impossible because good is merely the idea that is opposite of evil, and without it, it cannot exsist. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I'm not sure I'm getting my idea across as well as I would like. Moving on-

Now, it's important that this last part is not misunderstood, but I believe that not only is evil necessary but it is good for us. When we have evil, we are able to learn and build ourselves against it. People fight to be the best person they can possibly be (Without simply being such >.<) We make the choice. The ability to do such is far more powerful than the outcome because it is a freedom we could not have in the all good world (If it could even exsist). I also believe that evil is essential for beauty. Without evil, such wonderful things as compassion, loyality, etc. would not exsist. And if everything in this world were perfect, if we saw a waterfall, or trees in the fall, or fresh fallen snow, they would be nothing out of the ordinary and we wouldn't even bother calling it beautiful. We need evil in this world, I wouldn't want to live in a world without it. With evil, I get to make the constant choice to act against it, which gives me a fulfilling exsistence in life where I am not simply living it, but creating it.
Whew, how's that for brain vomit?

The Poem of Sam

Okay. I was rifling through my old myspace account looking for something to post when I realized...that I really don't have anything good to show! XD Nethertheless, I have one crowning acheivement. It has resulted in waves of laughter at the lunchtable, gained 5 whole positive reviews on fictionpress.net and is the epitome of awesome. So without further ado, I introduce you to The Poem of Sam!
("Oh yah! Curtains UP!")

The Poem of Sam
Once apon a time there was a man
His name was Sam
He was born apon a pile of spam in a can
Occasionally, he would smell of roast ham.
I dunno how to explain it, considering the lack of tan.
But we loved him anyways, he was such a cute little lamb.
One day he wanted to wipe the world of emo, here was his plan:
"Make like a Japanese school boy and cram!"
He would yell across to their clan.

We later found out
that instead of the usual pout
The Emo began about
A very disturbing practice with out a doubt
"NO! Oh god! I didn't mean like that!" he would shout.
And he would repeatedly strike himself with a trout.

Seeing this daring act
The Emo returned once more to their usual pact
On and on it went until their wrists were no longer intact.
Apon seeing this and his failure, Sam's Giraffe was later sacked.

When a story turns for the worse it's only right it introduce
The new top leader in produce!
Orange.
(DAMN-ange)

Well the story is not all doomed aside from that last note
Because now, I've given Sam a boat!
While pulling on his pink frilly coat,
He began to wonder how he would go about his next smote.
Meanwhile the emos continued to do as I wrote.
Currently, they were slitting each others throats!

This reminded Sam of his many pals.
So he summoned a pumpkin, oh what a gal!

She was spicey, she was dicey, and she had one hell of a kick.
She rode up fast in her orange clad Buick.
The stereo was on and techno was the music.
Her weapon of choice: A rusty toothpic.

I'm not gonna lie
The emos weren't scared, they wanted to die.
They even dared to make silly faces as they ran by.
Oh my!

They just spanked a horse, now Rachel was pissed.
"I'll cut you like an Emo!" She dissed.
Suddenly she was perplexed, as they disappeared in too a teary emo mist.
In a rage she cursed right down the list.
"Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck a Donald Duck!"
Sam was sad, I mean that's just bad luck.
Rachel's the best, everyone else is the suck.

He sent her away
and he moved to Tampa Bay
He got fatter and fatter on Fondu and Falay
Whilst on his binge he discovered the evil of bacon.
The streaks in the meat began to remind him, and he wondered where the emo were taken.
Deidcated to finding this truth he sought out a Jamacian.

He told him of unicorns, rainbows, and lepracauns.
Sam even picked up some tips on decorating his lawn.
When he got all he needed, he bid him so long.
Than the Jamacian went back to playing ping pong.

Let's hope he's not wrong
We want those Emos gone
And off he goes 'mon!

All of a sudden a Ninja sprung out of the trees
and drop kicked Sam in the back of the knees!
He was out cold, catchin' some Z's
The Ninja was crazy and roared in bloodlust
when Megan the pirate appeared in disgust
"Give me my money, you son of a bitch!"
The Ninja than skillfully rolled into a ditch
Megan ran after without a second glance
while the Ninja began the ancient fruitloop dance.
Megan was confused
and Sam still lay there quite abused
When the Ninja disappeared, very much amused.
Megan ran after
trying to get there faster
While Sam lay alone once more
He awoke quiet suddenly when he heard noise from the shore
It was the Emos! In all their splendor and lore
Determined to end this now he let out a throaty roar.
But was silenced once more by a beating with a door.
"Grr!" He muttered aghast.
when he woke up again atlast
when will this end?
will there be more suffering at the continuity of this trend?
(2007)

RE: Promise

Absotively posilutely.

Now bash on Twilight!

My promise...

I promise that my first post won't be a rant on Twilight...

There we go. Now my cred has reached an outstanding 100% after my first post! Do you trust me yet?

BRILLIANCE!!!

Because we're so fantastical.

:-P