Dear Corporate America

Christmas before Thanksgiving by *soulchaserzero on deviantART

Dear Corporate America,

I am a huge fan of Christmas.

I LOVE Christmas. If Christmas were a comely maiden of unparalleled purity, I would drop on my knees and... tell her I'd totally propose if I were straight.

And I know, dear corporations, that we're all doing the best we can to pull ourselves out of this economic slump, and I am aware that Christmas is the time to get people spending their dough, ya dig?

But please, please, PLEASE, I implore you, save Christmas for December! At least wait until the turkey population takes a seasonal nosedive... at the very least! I stand in protest to every Christmas decoration hung up before the back-to-school specials hit the stores!

I feel as though there's a miniature anachronism in making Christmas come too soon... It dilutes the special Christmasy feelings if you spread Christmas too thin... over three to four months! Christmas should be enjoyed at full potency, packed into a single month when the line between goodwill and consumerism is joyfully blurred, whether one's egg nog has been spiked or not. This might be why we're losing our childhoods sooner and sooner... because Christmas ain't so special when it's four months long!

At any rate, I do so love Christmas, and I urge you lovely dears to keep it potent, keep it packed, and keep it in December.

Yours with love, devotion, and a Bing Crosby song dedicated to you on Kool 108,

Trungles