The Quest for Immortality

"If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present." -Tractus; Wittgenstein.

Call me Gilgamesh. Or perhaps King Arthur. Even Voldemort would do. No no, Phoenix has a nice ring too it.
There are so many fictional accounts and tales of immortality. But are they not satisfying?
Vampires, Elves, Davy Jones, Wolverine, Sion.
None of these are ever seen as fulfilling.

When presented with the concept of immortality we are shown the repercussions, the negative connotations, the greed and selfish desire of one journeying to become immortal. We see the pain one has to experience as they live through to many sad experiences to ever outway the good. To live out all of your loved ones, to watch them die and leave this world where you stay firmly rooted. Sometimes we see immortality used a punishment, such is the case when considering Greek gods being chained to a rock and having his eyes and liver pecked out by crows (I may be incorrect. I don't feel the need to fact check this at the moment. I'm just bloggin' anways.)
But above all we see immortality as a desireable deadly thing. When everything is weighed against the other, any normal person would surely choose to die with their loved ones and not experience an eternal prison on earth forever.

But than you have many religions such as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, etc. That believe in an afterlife. Possibly not experienced in the human form.

Well this is not good enough!

Do you know what I think heaven is? Nothing. It's what you make of it. A paradise? And people are so quick to debunk the exsistence of Shangri-La? First off, I've been known to conclude that there is no welcoming party at the pearly gates, or this great big judgement. No. We all know where we are going. If you have a nagging fear in the back of your mind that there is a possibility that you may go to hell than perhaps that is where you will be. We know right from wrong, if you feel that your actions lead you one place or another, they will take you where they lead you. How is it that one person can kill an innocent un-armed citizen and feel a pass to heaven because they did not mean to do it? Perhaps it was an accidental misfire, or an incorrect assumption that lead to a sudden reaction that resulted in death? But than we have someone intentionally killing another innocent un-armed citizen and we condemn them to hell? It's all what you make of your own motives.
Moving on, I'm still in the process of questioning exactly where I go when I leave this place forever. Heaven or hell or rotting in the ground. Are these really the only options? I don't think I believe in either one. I DO believe that the universe never wastes anything. Nor can energy be created or destroyed. This means, my energy will go somewhere. What is my energy than? Is that my soul? My concicousness? It is it this special building block of life that is passed around throughout the known universe to live in whichever form it takes in the next life? Honestly, I think that when I die, I will obviously loose human form. And with that all of my memories and accumulated knowledge and skills and everything I worked my entire life for. Everything that I love about being a human being living on Earth surrounded by the beauty of human knowledge and the geographic accomplishments of our mother planet. When someone I love on this planet dies...I really do think that is it. They're gone from me. I can't meet them across the planes of exsistence. They have moved on. Forever. And so will have I. There is no party waiting for my arrival up on cloud 9 eager to see me again. Unfortunately, this thought depresses me far more than anything I have ever considered in my entire life.
What I'm trying to say exactly is that I DO NOT WANT to give up my human life. Not. At. All. Simply put, an estimation of 80+ years of life is not good enough. And oh my lord, what if I were to loose my life in some freak accident? I can not tell you how pissing angry I would be. Maybe if the sun supernovas, that was me. I have to die of old age or no dice. I don't want to leave this world at all, but I will not accept leaving prematurely. No no no.
This causes me to view things with a hightened sense of, "What the fudge monkeys are you wasting your life for? Who cares if your boyfriend dumped you. Who cares if Stephanie Meyer isn't going to write Midnight Sun anymore. Who cares if people used to make fun of you in elementary school? Who cares if you were attacked in 8th grade causing a downward spiral in your social life as hate and anger fueled your sick and twisted outlook on life actually causing you to contemplate the taking of your own life on many occasions? WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR YOU FOOL! Did you not even understand that you have something that is SO PRECIOUS you can't even enjoy it for all eternity? Oh boohoo, High School was sooooo hard. I'm not going to do my homework because I feel like I'm not going to make it past this life. Boohoo. Cassie is a crazed druggie who tries to kill herself on many occasions, tell me why you tried to cut yourself again? Why was this your problem? How in the hell did you actually think ANYTHING was a good idea? Whew. Almost lost you there sport.
So. Trivial human things. Piss on the lot. So what if you failed one test. So what if you can't get a date. So what if you're love sick and lonely. So what if you have no money. SO WHAT. Atleast you're living. And once I'm off this damn planet I'll be mighty jealous of you. So when I'm presented with problems such as these, I just can't take it too seriously. You know why? Because I'm going to go out and live my life that's why. I'm not gonna sit here and dwell on silly things. There is an answer to all of these worries. It's okay you failed that test, you can make it up later Ace college, major in your desire, do something with your life; It's okay, you'll get a date someday; Again, toughen up, you don't need another person's love to fulfill your life in the now, you won't be lonely one day; It's okay, one day you will get money.
With this all past in consideration, it's time to now get to the real reason I even started writing this throw-up of a blog. (Clearly, I have to many ideas swimming around in my mind to adhere to coherent structure).

Immortality.
Yes, I suppose one could put the dots together after I've stated quiet openly that I do not wish to leave this planet. And I'm not going to. Nope. I'm going to stay behind. My one life goal that I need to achieve before I'm recycled again in the planes of reality; I will achieve immortality.
That's right. I'm going to pull an Achilles. I'm going to last forever as an everlasting footnote on the soils of the Earth. I'm going to be remembered. And do you know why? Because that is the way I would have wanted it...if I can't remember my human life, than everyone else will in the hopes that one day if I do return, I will see myself in whichever form I take in memory and know of a human who obtained their strive for exsistence.

Of course, I have a lot of time ahead of me (Or I damn well better >.<) to figure out just how I'm going to approach this feat. I do know that I want to accomplish just deeds that will earn me the right of an identity forever. What these will be specifically can only be determined within time.
You know what they say...the journey is more important than the destination. The journey being my entire life ahead of me, which will prove to be quiet an interesting trial.

So strap on your seat belts folks, I'm about to take you all on a ride.