The Lady of the Cafe

I learned today that I am a hypocritical jerk. I'm very much embarrassed about what I am about to share with you, but for the most part I am dreadfully ashamed.

Today I came into work at 4pm. My new coworker was there, and we got to hang out for an hour. She's a sweet girl, who always has a smile on her face. I've never heard a single negative thing out of her mouth, and I don't think it's possible either. Mari and her mom came into to visit during the hour as well, we chatted a bit and I prepared her order. After Mari and her mother took their seat, and old woman came up to the counter and I recognized her immediately.

It's no secret that a lot of crazies come to the cafe, and this woman was no exception. I remembered serving her once before in where I had to discuss with her and help her figure out which of the omelet sandwiches she wanted. We only have two, one with sausage, one with spinach. She insisted that she ordered sausage las time but was given something else, and it tasted really good and that's what she would like. Sounds simple right? Obviously she had the one with spinach. Well, the conversation took 15 minutes regardless until she finally ordered the spinach and took her seat. After she took her bite, she proceeded to exclaim quite loudly that it indeed was the right sandwich. "THANK YOU! This tastes amazing! Oh my gosh, this is great. THANK YOU, this is the one! Mmmmmgrh!" All from the very back of the cafe, the other customers looked around at her as if she lost her mind. I remember being quite amused, but also slightly put off with her craziness.

This time, when she walked up to the counter, I fully expected her to be that way. The transaction took awhile, but it was mostly due to her being slow at figuring things out. She'd want a Coke, and I would tell her we did not have fountain drinks, so I would offer a root beer instead. She'd want a cup of ice cream to make a float, and we had to find out what the price was. Either way, the transaction was painless, and she walked back to her seat, the same one she sat in the back of the cafe the last time we met.

All was well, Kamila and I were goofing around up front. But than you hear a loud "Aaggaghr!". I know who it is. I'm sure I know what it's about. I stare forward and pretend I didn't hear it. "hey". I don't hear anything, at least that's what I'm convincing myself. "Maam!". *Sigh*.
I walk over and she's having trouble with opening her root beer, I tell her it's a twist off. She asks if I can help her with it, so I begrudgingly agree. "I tried to get it off, but it cut my skin, look!" She showed me, it hadn't bleed and I didn't really care, especially since I was cutting my own hand in the process of opening her drink. Walking back to the cafe, I of course made a face that can only be translated as-" Omg this bitch is crazy". Kamila laughed a little, and I whispered to her the entire story from last time.

Later, Kamila was cleaning up, and the crazy lady began talking to her. I didn't know what she was talking about, it didn't matter, I was busy shooting Kamila wide-eyed looks of crazy horror and laughing at her misfortune.

When Kamila returned, we ran into the back to talk about what had just transpired. Good Kamila, innocent Kamila, whispered to me quite embarrassed what the lady had said. "She said she lost her fake teeth at McDonalds." She giggled and I broke out laughing. I kept on laughing even when Kamila was finished, and I was loud. This lady. She was crazy.

We were both out front now, and the lady called again. "Maam." Wide-eyed again, I'm amused because I'm being such a jerk, and ignore her again. Kamila can't hear her either, but she isn't pretending. "Girls!" I mutter an expletive, and pop my head up with a smile. The lady asks if we had seen what was on her shirt and bag. Both had patriotic 4th of July United States on them. She told us she got each for only $3 at Walmart. I feigned interest, and Kamila nodded. She said she always told the kids about good deals, since we work so hard and money is hard to come by. I agree. And before she can say more, I run in the back again and laugh at her ridiculousness. But I am alone.

Kamila leaves for the night, and it's just me. Another one of my coworkers visits with me, before he is called over by the lady. I'm curious, and also amused that her craziness is now reaching someone else. He comes back over to get a comment card for her, they talk for 20 minutes. I'm horribly curious now. I'm waiting, I want him to finish up and tell me about her craziness so I can laugh at her expense some more. My supervisor is shelving books nearby, and unwilling to make fun on my own, I walk over to her and tell her that the lady sitting over there is CRAZY. My supervisor is intrigued and walked over briefly, listens to their conversation for a second than comes back and agrees with me.
More time passes, and the lady is walking over to me. She hands me the comment card and says, "He told me to give this to you. He said you would know where to put it. It's my idea." I nodded and smiled, I told her I'd give it to my supervisor. She told me I could read it if I wanted. I simply nodded, thinking to myself how silly she must be to think her crazy idea could possibly mean anything to me and wondered if perhaps she wanted the satisfaction of having such a good idea I'd read it and proclaim how wonderful a genius she was. "I promise I will deliver it for you." She looks at me, and I don't know whether she is skeptical or slightly disappointed that I did not read her idea nor did I care too.

Of course I am curious, I spent the entire time waiting to see what her crazy idea was so I read the comment card. It was a bit illegible at parts.

I come here a lot for your great coffee I look at the photos of Seattle,

the people in the boat; think, "I'd love to go there"-

Then I got this idea for your company-to increase business have a

drawing for a paid round trip ticket to Seattle via entrance so then someone could

see your coffee plant.

((Yeah fucking right. This lady is crazy))

I'm on disability so I don't have the money but would appreciate the chance in

a raffle. I want to be able to put a red umbrella in my cup too-I've struggled thru

the years from a head injury, but now I am alright so enjoy seeing and doing things

I never could before and I love your coffee.

Thanks <3

Linda

(she leaves her contact information)

I immediately feel sick. My chest clenches up and my blood runs cold, I feel my body tense, and that horrible feeling well up in the pit of my stomach.

Here I was, judging a person I did not know, thinking the things I thought, saying the things that I did...all the things I hated. I was the very essence of everything I detest about a person who passes judgement on others. I never thought to consider this lady's story, never thought there was a reason for her slow take on things or her strange speech. I simply wrote her off as crazy and laughed at her. Really, nothing makes me more ashamed of myself than to admit this.

Reading her comment card doesn't feel like it could be that much of an impact, but I realized that she was just like me in certain aspects. It sounds like she wants to escape to a better life. Think, she had been struggling previously, saw the pictures and thought of how beautiful a place Seattle is. A beauty that probably can't be found in her life now, she wanted to meet that beauty, she's filled with the overwhelming desire to make that happen. She wants to do things that she could never do before, she wants to finally enjoy her life and live her adventure the way it was meant to be, the way she always wanted it to be. I respect this, and admire anyone who thinks this clearly about their own destiny. It didn't matter if she won...the simple chance of being able to go was all she needed, the thought of it being a possibility was enough. God, why did I have to act that way?

When did I become such a sadistic bastard?

I watch her now, and I see that she is chatting very animatedly with a few of the other customers. I look and notice that they are smiling and nodding with her, but they aren't being fake. They are genuinely interested in what she has to say. Why couldn't I be like that? She is telling them stories, and some times they draw close together, looks of shock appear on there faces, some look concerned. They talk for hours. I imagine that she is sharing some life changing story, sharing some deep and profound wisdom. Perhaps she is relaying her struggles and how her outlook on life is vastly different now. Maybe she is teaching them new things they never thought of before. Possibly, she is in the process of changing their lives.

I want her to change my life too. I want her to have a positive impact on me. I wonder why I didn't listen to her before. Why didn't I give her a chance? Would I have acted the same way toward Socrates if he had arrived and begun asking his strange questions? Would I have let him open my mind?

She and her listeners leave while I'm occupied in the back. I never got a chance to smile, wave, wish her a good night. Never got to tell her I would be sure to get her comment card delivered. Never got to say that I liked her idea.

So I took the comment card with me when I clocked out. I was going to give it to my supervisor. I was going to make sure that she at least had the chance for her idea to reach someone else because that would have been enough at least.

She arrives and I hand it too her. I tell her it is from before, I was asked to give it to her because I didn't know what to do with it.

"From the crazy lady?" My supervisor takes it and reads the first 5 lines that I did when I wrote off her idea originally. "Pfft. Yeah. All this lady wants is a free trip."

My supervisor looks at me, than she rips the comment card in half.

"Yup. I just did that."

I'm silent. I don't feel a thing. I stressed and thought about what was on that comment card all night.

If I wasn't so eager to make fun of her to other people, my supervisor wouldn't have dismissed the card so easily. She probably would not have read it, or perhaps she would have finished it and had been touched. But no, I put it in her head that this was coming from a crazy lady. My mouth and my bad attitude ripped that card in half. Still numb.

"You can just go, I don't need to check. If you steal anything I'll shoot yah."

If I could only be that lucky...there it was. I broke my promise for starters, but most of all I stole away Linda's chance at escape, I stole her chance of experiencing beauty. I think I deserved to be shot.

I failed the test, Trung.